Brain movements
This was an e-mail that I wrote that spoke about what's going on in my head. Rather than write it out again, I thought I'd just post it, God Bless you all!!
Hey Lizzy!! It's interesting how you asked if I really enjoy missions b/c it's mission fest at the school here this week and we just had a missionary speaking in chapel today. One of his big questions was 'do you care' about the ppl of the world. That's what I'm really struggling with big time right now. Because, I don't know if it's just being in the setting of a Bible college or what, but I am struggling with apathy a lot. My heart is cold from the hurt of the world and I don't know how to change it. I feel far from God right now, and it's weird how much that question in chapel has brought it to the fore front. As well, do I enjoy missions? I don't know really...I know I love working with kids and I want to be a part of that. I also don't want a safe little job in Canada because it seems pointless..why stay in such a materialistic society and become more apathetic to the world around you and then have the Lord sad b/c you've done nothing for his kingdom? Is it bad that I feel staying in North America is something to be looked down upon? There is a lot going on in Canada that needs to be changed, but how does one get into the mission field in Canada without being caught up in the materialistic, individualistic, god-less society of this country? I feel like saying 'oh your work is your mission field' is a cop-out for what God really wants to go on in society you know? Sorry, I'm just putting my thoughts onto paper right now. Probably a bad time to write an e-mail...anyways. But to answer whether or not it's a lifetime commitment that I'm going to make...I don't know. I'm scared of dying on the mission field and being away from my family is a big commitment. I don't want to miss out on my brother's life, on Carm and Barry's and there's things that need to be worked on with Sam, so I don't want to miss that, but I don't want it to be holding me back either.
Hey Lizzy!! It's interesting how you asked if I really enjoy missions b/c it's mission fest at the school here this week and we just had a missionary speaking in chapel today. One of his big questions was 'do you care' about the ppl of the world. That's what I'm really struggling with big time right now. Because, I don't know if it's just being in the setting of a Bible college or what, but I am struggling with apathy a lot. My heart is cold from the hurt of the world and I don't know how to change it. I feel far from God right now, and it's weird how much that question in chapel has brought it to the fore front. As well, do I enjoy missions? I don't know really...I know I love working with kids and I want to be a part of that. I also don't want a safe little job in Canada because it seems pointless..why stay in such a materialistic society and become more apathetic to the world around you and then have the Lord sad b/c you've done nothing for his kingdom? Is it bad that I feel staying in North America is something to be looked down upon? There is a lot going on in Canada that needs to be changed, but how does one get into the mission field in Canada without being caught up in the materialistic, individualistic, god-less society of this country? I feel like saying 'oh your work is your mission field' is a cop-out for what God really wants to go on in society you know? Sorry, I'm just putting my thoughts onto paper right now. Probably a bad time to write an e-mail...anyways. But to answer whether or not it's a lifetime commitment that I'm going to make...I don't know. I'm scared of dying on the mission field and being away from my family is a big commitment. I don't want to miss out on my brother's life, on Carm and Barry's and there's things that need to be worked on with Sam, so I don't want to miss that, but I don't want it to be holding me back either.
posted by Kelly at
10:17 AM
1 Comments:
Hello Kelly. From what I can tell, going on a missions trip seems to do as much or more for changing the missionary's heart to obediance to God than it impacts the people to whom the missionary was sent. And while I agree that many Christians do use "my work is my mission" as an excuse for not going where/doing what God calls them to, it is worthwhile noting that every major leader in the bible taught/prophesied to THEIR OWN people before going to any other nation. It's not wrong to critique your own culture- in fact, it might be preferable that you do b/c as a native, you know your culture intimately enough that you will know best how to speak to it and have it respond. On the other hand, sometimes it is easier to see your culture's strengths and weaknesses clearly when you have experienced something different to compare it to. In sum, the question is less whether or not one should go on a mission, and more questions of when, where, how long, and why does God want me to go on mission?
Love you muchly, Faye.
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