Humbled

Well, hi there, I'm back for good at home from camp and finding myself in a little shame pit. I don't know if it's satan that's making me feel this way or if it's justifiable. But I seem to be focusing too much on the people there instead of what I learned from God. Like, really I was soooo glad for Laura's company on the way home last night otherwise I would have been crying. Just because one the guys there refused to give an actual goodbye. It was kind of a wave and not even a glance. That really hurt, and I was hoping on the way home from dropping Laura off, "maybe he'll call" because he's supposed to if they're going to Calgary this week. But gosh! I feel soo bad, I did learn a lot this week. I learned about how insignificant I am, I learned how much I absolutely LOVE working with kids. I love kids and thank God that I was in a cabin too! One of my camper's had this attitude about her that made me really want to smack her upside the head. In honestly didn't know what to do because everything I tried just got a "pre-teenage" roll of the eyes and snippy voice. But then two of my girls made a commitment the last night!!! I was sooooo blown away. I'm worried about those girls. They do not come from "Christian" homes per se. One is Catholic and one is from the United Church. So I wonder just how much support they'll get. I pray they'll not be plants with shallow roots, but that they landed in good soil. But then that's what's frustrating about camp, you are only a part of God's hands and then have to have faith that God know's what he's doing. And I do have faith, but sometimes it's hard when you make such a connection with these kids and then they leave. Caitlyn, she was one of the last girls to leave and I really didn't want to see her go. She's a girl that's going to give me early grey hair. Oh gosh, It's in God's hands and I'm sooooo scared. Is being scared showing a lack of faith? I thank God that this week I learned early on to not put personal stuff ahead of my kids. To focus on what my kids need and then on building relationships with other staff. If I had not learned that, then my kids would have had an awful week. But I'm pretty sure that they didn't. I had an LTD this week which was pretty much awesome. Andrea, oh my gosh, it was so much fun to hang around her. Plus, one day I really hurt my foot down on the beach and she took the girls to cabin time and everything so I could just kinda hang out and let the drugs kick into my system. Fell asleep on the floor of the cabin with the door open and then my girls came and gave me a brownie that they had baked. Which was sooooo nice. I was on crutches for part of the day because my foot was killing me and it's still sore. I might have to go and get it checked out again Dr. Hanton said I might need to see a specialist in Edmonton or Calgary. It's sooo frustrating!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!! And I just realized that I left my keys for the pool at home! Oh joys, God please grant me happiness today as I work on my attitude. Please grant patience to expectations, hurts to be mended and pain to cease. Please do not let joy and peace fade with memories. Please allow a sense of openness to change in situations and contentment with what the situation is right now as opposed to wishing it back to camp. God, I need your help here, please! Please protect my girls with an army of angels from oppression and allow their happiness to stick through all year! In Jesus Name, Amen God Bless you guys throughout this week and the rest of the summer/year! p.s. Carm and Barry set a date for June 2,2007!!