I miss Thomas. And I needed to get that down in writing, and knowing that almost nobody comes here makes it somewhat better.

Question (not related): Can you be a Christian and still go to a Catholic church? I realize that we need to be discerning when talking to Catholic people. However, if you ask them questions about their faith and they answer the same as someone would from a Protestant church...do we still conclude that they are not Christian because they are at a Catholic church...or do we let our attitudes change?

Food for thought

Wednesday May 19th

A girl friend of mine birthday party is on Tuesday. I found out yesterday I wasn't invited because she didn't know how to be friends with both of us. I called and yelled at him, well not yelling per se, but very angrily spoke to him. I think it made me more mad that he didn't say a whole lot. I am going to the party, but I have to leave before he gets there, that's alright though, I work at 5:30 the next morning so I have to leave early anyways. It did make me miss him more today though, knowing that I cannot even see him until the fall. I didn't realize how much I wanted it until I couldn't have it. Poop in a bucket! I want to be friends with him, I want to have input into his life and comfort him when he's having a bad day. Maybe that's never going to happen?

Thursday

It's been almost four days. I miss him more than I have for a long time. We were long distance for the first 7 months of our relationship. But this is different. I can't call, can't write, can't text. Can't even look at pictures of I start crying. I haven't seen him in almost a week. It's like going off a drug you know you need to quit. But God, I wish I didn't have to. Mom says the pain will lessen eventually. I hope it does, I can't take this constantly.

Sad

Wow, it's been over a year since I've wrote on this thing. I apologize for my lack of writing, I have not had the desire to do so for a long time. I should update here: May 27, 2009 I had my first boyfriend. And I came to know and love him more than any other guy than I've ever known. He is an amazing man, he is also anal, annoying and somewhat abrasive. But I love him. And I ended our relationship March 15, 2010. I know that I shouldn't be the one weeping uncontrollably tonight. But he sent me an e-mail telling me that he was cutting all contact with me until the fall. It's like my heart broke all over again. I know that I should care about him enough to let him go, because I'm the one who broke his heart. I know all these things. And yet, I feel like something isn't right. My heart rebels at the idea of not getting to talk to him for four months. I hope this feeling will go away, I know that I did the right thing by not being with him anymore. But I did break my own heart once, and now it's broken again, after it was starting to piece itself back together. My God, when will this hurt go away? 1 4 3