Process

I think sometimes that I have myself fooled. I want so badly to be better again, and yet impatient for the time when I will be. I want closeness and can fool myself with memories and hide from the concept that a teddy bear and a computer are bad bed mates. They don't comfort you when you're alone, and they don't make you feel better when you want to cry. I digress, I am doing better, one day at a time. My heart still hurts, but the pain is lessening. What I desire most right now, is communication of some sort. It could be because I have depended on another for any information out of the college town, but now even that is slow or non-existent. Although, this desire happens most often as it is right now, when I am the only one awake, and long for a companion. If I go to bed when the others do, that desire fades substantially. It will be two weeks tomorrow since communcation of any sort existed. Is that bad that those 'anniversaries' are etched in my brain?