Sunday, May 28, 2006

Relaxing....and content

Well, the weekend after grad.......it's sad to think that all the planning all the nervousness and happiness and anticipation gone in less than five hours. I have a feeling of sadness right now, knowing that this part of my life is about to end and another begininning. The security of high school soon to be ripped from my hands and I'm to be thrust out into a new kind of experience. Yes, I'm not being totally displaced, but the idea that something that I thought would never end, is actually ending is scary. True, the college I'm going to has been my second home these last couple years, but never as a student with all the things that come with it. It was interesting on Prom day, how much God blessed me. Little prayers that were tossed up to help just get through the day..."God please help me to have fun"....."God please help me not to be tempted", they were answered wtihin minutes. Even when I felt left out b/c I had no escort, it's like God was saying "good job Kelly, look, I will send someone to comfort you" and my sister decided to come and "dance" with me, even though it was silly. It's weird this whole weekend has been a testament to God's closeness and security. Hmmmm, I......forgot my thought...oh well. Pictures are soon to follow, once I get them developed!!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Depressed

Well hello! It's two days away from Prom and you'd think that I'd be bursting with excitement right? Wrong, I'm sooooo stressed out right now, in between helping to run the house with mom in a wheel chair, and getting everything ready, I'm always grouchy and always tired. To top it all off today, I found out my best friend who was coming to grad and Edmonton on Saturday, couldn't get the weekend off. Her boss tried REALLY hard to find somebody to take her shift, but in the end it didn't work out. So right now, I'm really really depressed and frustrated. I'm sorry this is short, but could you guys pray for me? So that I'm not so depressed and out of joint on Prom day, so that it will be fun and full of surprises and good times? I love you all, and promise to send pics! God Bless

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Thinking

I read Faye's last blog about Joy and it also got me thinking about it. In Sunday school this week we touched on the passage in James 1, which says "count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience, but let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing." I find it interesting that he says to have joy and then goes right in to having patience, like they work together to produce it. My teacher, Lyn, also made the point that patience produces wisdom, and wisdom in what ever happens, will bring joy. Not jumping up and down, like "YAYAYAY I'm having trials!" But the quiet knowledge that after the trials comes joy beyond imagining. Not giving over to despair when trials come, but taking them with quiet acceptance that the Lord is letting them happen. It struck me when listening to a presentation about Job, when he cried out to God asking why, why did all his troubles happen? Why were his children, servants and livelihood taken away from him? Why was he covered in sores and his friends and wife constantly pressing him to confess his sin? And God simply answered those questions with questions. Job 38:4-9 "Where were you when I layed the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding. Who determined it's measurements? surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were it's foundations fastened? or layed it's cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy? Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst forth and issued from the whom." That is how we're supposed to be in trials, joyful with the understanding that we might not know why we're suffering, but are we supposed to? Maybe if we'd done just one of the things that God has done, or were there when he made the heavens. But what gives us the right to actually question what God has in store? Yes, we do, and God welcomes our questions because it draws us closer to him, as it did Job. But when people are suffering little things, maybe we should look at the big picture, and realize that although we sometimes equate our tiny suffering with what Job suffered, we fail to remember those that are suffering much more for what we have taken for granted. The right to have our faith freely expressed, and although I know that this has been done to death, it shames me, even to think about what I considered extremely harsh suffering, is nothing to what other girls, my age are willfully suffering for in sooo many other places. I wonder what would happen if I was put through, what Job was put through. Would I curse God and die, or would I refuse to scream and curse at God, and put up with the constant hammering of my "friends" to confess my sin? I don't know.
On that note, I will say, I started talking about Joy and ended up on a completely different topic, so sorry if anyone got completely confused, but anyways. I've got to get to work. God Bless, and Love ya'll!!